What Having 3 Dogs REALLY Looks Like

Now, I know, more than your average crazy dog lady, that dogs are not children.  They are, in fact, not even human (shocking I know).  This means that my dogs walk on a leash, sleep on the floor, are not allowed in the bedroom, do not wear clothes (unless you count dog coats for cold weather/rain) and generally live the life of dogs… Albeit, spoiled dogs.

That all said, complaining to me about your ONE child is going to get you no sympathy.  I understand that children are messy, they cry, they whine, they pester you and need constant attention, but so do my dogs.  And I’m betting your only child doesn’t purposefully and willfully pee on your couch when you pay too much attention to your spouse.

One of my very good friends happens to have four children.  She and I absolutely love to compare daily stories about who had to clean up more urine, who had to wrestle more foreign objects out of mouths, and who generally looks the grossest after not having time to shower for an untold number of days.  She is a woman I not only deeply sympathize with, but that I also admire, for she has one more child than I have dogs.  Though, once I get my gerbil, we will be tied for household rug rats, so we will have to reassess the situation when that time comes.

So, while we’d all (I promise I’m included) love to think that having puppies is all funny pictures of them in empty beer cases,

… and funny pictures of the dogs looking like they are eating each others face, but they are actually playing,

… It actually looks a lot more like:

Cleaning pee off of my couch… Again, for the third time today…  Or my carpet or my shoes, or my walls.

And this is not much of an exaggeration:

So, the next time you get puppy fever and think having another dog would be great, take a moment to listen to your house and assess the noise and commotion level.  Once you add another canine to the pack, it will never be that quiet or calm again.  And you can pretty much kiss your clean carpets, calm demeanor, and general cleanliness goodbye… Along with your sanity and anything you had left that might still be considered in good condition or nice.