I didn’t hear about this when it happened, but I heard about it today and have decided that it’s not only the funniest thing I’ve heard in a while, but that I should write a really ridiculous title to rival the stupidity of the story.
Back in 2005, Robert Kraft, the owner of The New England Patriots, visited Russia and had a meeting with Vladimir Putin, president of Russia. I hear it was a business meeting of some kind, but who knows. Either way, they had a meeting and, at some point, Kraft showed Putin the Super Bowl ring. Putin then stole the ring.
Really? First, you went to a business meeting with Putin. Then you show him a diamond incrusted ring worth $25K and then are shocked that he stole it? Kraft originally claimed he gave the ring as a gift, but recently said he didn’t. He claims that Putin stole it. Putin says he doesn’t even remember meeting Kraft or The Ring (I’m capitalizing it because I’ve decided it must be like The One, True Ring), though there is a picture of Putin holding The Ring in 2005.
Then, in a ridiculous twist, Kraft now wants The Ring back. And apparently, the White House has intervened and told him to suck it up, or that he should shut up and say it was a gift, which is basically the same thing. Because, hello! You went to Russia and tried to strike up a business deal with VLADIMIR PUTIN.
To me, doing that is just like doing business with The Mob. If I’m having a little sit down with The Don and he happens to say he really likes my tie, that tie probably now belongs to him. And his henchmen are not likely to argue and NO ONE is going to say that he stole it. They are going to say it’s a gift. And if they don’t, they will be killed. As will I.
TMZ, who I hate and find to be dumb, actually did something I find hilarious. They harassed Senator McCain on the street with cameras and asked about The Ring. Really? With all we have going on in this world I think McCain and everyone else have better things to worry about. However, McCain was kind enough to humor them and discuss the story and say he hopes Kraft gets it back.
Then TMZ asked if Obama might try to get it back while visiting Russia… Uhm, I think the President of America has better things to do than worry about a dumbass and his ring. But hey, I could be wrong. Maybe this One, True Ring has some mystical powers we aren’t aware of and that is why Congress and The President should care.
Maybe it cures world hunger, or can create world peace. We may never know though because Putin stole it. And if I were Putin, and kind of like a Don, I’d wear The Ring in public and be sure to get photographed wearing it. Then, when someone asks, “Isn’t that the Super Bowl ring you stole?” I’d reply, “Oh, this? No, this was a gift.”
***Original story broken by NY Post, read it HERE
***Please note that Putin isn’t a total dick. He may have stolen the ring and denied it, but he has said that if it’s really THAT important he will make Kraft a new ring out of precious metals and jewels. See, he’s not a totally unreasonable KGB guy who goes around stealing Super Bowl rings.