I’ve been blogging on this here blog for a long time now. Since 2008 if you really want to go back and listen to my immature and youthful ranting. It started as “Deployment Woes,” and was a dinky little blog I used more or less as a journal. It had cutesy pre-made and free blog backgrounds and banners made for Blogger and entirely reflected who I was: A young, stupid newlywed with a husband who was deployed.
I’ve gone through a lot since then. Illness, a troubled deployment, an even more troubled marriage and then even worse illness. Through it all I kept on blogging. I wrote even when nobody read it. I have always used this place, my secret place, my super secret public journal, as a place to be unabashedly me.
I sing in the shower and prefer Britney Spears and Katy Perry for the lovely echo effect.
I cry silently, ashamed of my own tears because that’s what I was taught.
And I am very much so still just A Girl, who loves A Boy, who is married to the Marine Corps. But lately I have been feeling a bit adrift. I love my safe haven, but am finding that as the PR firms email and the offers and promotions come in, they want a gal that I just am not. I’m not really THAT milspouse. I love identifying as a military spouse and I often wonder who I will be on the other side of military life. I have only ever known a husband who is a Marine and I have only know that during a time of war. And yet, I find that I am writing less and less about it.
I have been turing down offers to write about reserve life. I honestly don’t know what to say that I haven’t said before and I am tired of repeating myself. I have been declining anything that is super “moto” because I just feel that my life is moving to a different place and different direction.
I am a miltiary spouse, but I am more than that and having been diagnosed with a disease that basically amounts to my body kicking its own ass Fight Club Tyler Durden style, things feel different here. It is my safe place, but I have been longing for a change for some time.
It is time to move on from being A Girl. She is still very much so me, but I will be moving to a new site and a new, ridiculous name: Seriously.
The content will be largely the same. I can’t change who I am so the blog posts are unlikely to change dramatically either. But Seriously will be the snarkster that I can’t always be here. She will show a slightly different side. A stronger side. And while I’m still very vulnerable, Seriously gives the world a middle finger anyway.
So I introduce you to Seriously, from It’s Not Me, It’s You. This blog will stay open and the resources and points of comfort for others will be here whenever they are needed. But A Girl has grown up and discovered who she is. She is Seriously, and really, it’s not me, it’s you.