If My Dog Were a Dinosaur

ifmydogwereadino

I might be a crazy dog lady now.  I mean I’ve always LOVED my dogs and I’ve always joked that I talk to them all the time, which is true.  But since becoming housebound in November of last year, I think my mental state has declined.  I now find that I talk to my dogs and sometimes forget that they can’t answer back.  That means I sit and look at them waiting momentarily for a response before remembering they are dogs. But, in my crazy dog lady defense, my dogs are wicked smart.  You may remember my series called “My Dog is Smarter Than Me” and the truth is that I have more posts coming for the series as I still get out smarted on a daily basis. I’d like to state my case in a fictional manner.  I will give it to you in terms of “If my Dog Continue reading

Even Stone Can Break

Even stone can break

My grandfather was a stern and stoic man. He was so Scandinavian that it was nearly a comical caricature of what the old school Scandinavian stereotype is. He was not unkind. In fact, he might have been the most generous person I knew. But he was reserved with his judgments just as much as he was with is affection. It wasn’t until my grandmother died that I was hugged for the first time. Well, it was the first hug I can remember. It felt strange. This was a man I had known all my life and his affection was not physical… ever. But even in the absence of physical affection, there was not much doubt that he loved me and all of his grandchildren. With such a large family, he tried so very hard to be at as many of our big milestones as he could, no matter the miles Continue reading

I’m Kind of a Passive Aggressive A-Hole

imightbeanahole

While I’m snarky and bratty, one thing I don’t do well is confrontation. Wanna say something rude on my blog? Delete! Gonna post jerk face things to my fan page? Deletey, Deletey! But I don’t generally do well in every day life. I’ll tell you I wasn’t offended when I was, I apologize when I don’t think I should have to, and generally try to keep the peace… Assuming we aren’t spectacular friends. My close friends get the benefit of both blunt honesty, but also an undying friendship and loyalty that will never waiver and will also result in my being there for you more than I feel the need to tell you I’m upset. And really, that’s what we all want in life, right? We want that friend who will tell you like it is, but hold your hand gently while doing so. So where does my passive aggressiveness Continue reading

I Might Be Howard Stern

imightbehowardstern

About a year ago, I decided it was high time to let all my lovely readers see my true colors.  I had previously reserved snarky posts as guest posts for other bloggers who were interested in it, but rarely posted snarky stuff on my own site.  Then I created a Facebook fan page and it became my outlet for snarky comments, rude things I say and a lovely collection of hilarious memes I find online… And thus, A Girl, snarky blogger extraordinaire was born. Here’s what I’ve noticed since then: My FB fans have grow quickly.  The more obnoxious what I post is, the more fans I get that day. My blog numbers are highest on the days I post rude stuff, snarky stuff, or just me saying what I think when it’s not very nice. You guys are probably secret Aholes too I might be Howard Stern A few Continue reading

Life Lessons I Learned From Doctor Who

You may or may not be aware that I am a GIANT Whovian nerd.  So much so, in fact, that I know that Whovian is officially a real word, as of 2012 when it was added to the Oxford English Dictionary.  NERD ALERT! I quote it constantly, watch it nearly 24 hours a day, every day of the month, and delight in all things Doctor Who.  I’m even planning to hit the museum in Cardiff when I take my next trip to the UK.  Because I’m a dork, and also, that is awesome. The show is hilarious and fun and full of useful information and life lessons to help anyone (even you non-Whovian weirdos) through life.  So I give you sixteen life lessons from watching Doctor Who! Bananas are good Time paradoxes will sort themselves out Unless you touch a younger version of yourself, then times will erase itself Unless Continue reading

The Importance of Proper Female Body Armor Clothing

The Importance of Proper Fitting Female Body Armor // aboyagirlandthemarinecorps.com

My fabulous pals over at Safeguard Armor and Safeguard Clothing were kind enough to whip up this amazing post about why your body armor needs to fit correctly.  It’s not enough to simply have it on.  Because I gained weight between my ordering one of their vests and it arriving, I can personally attest to why this post is a really important one to keep in your secret stash should you decide to ever order a vest as well. I can’t thank them enough for being so kind as to writing this up.  They did a much better job explaining it than I ever could! More and more women are learning how important body armor can be. There are many women who have dangerous jobs nowadays and protecting oneself with the proper body armor is essential. Many schools are now being attacked and a teacher that is wearing body armor Continue reading

So You Want to Be a Writer

So You Want to be a Writer // aboyagirlandthemarinecorps.com

  Recently, my editor shared with my an article about Charles Bukowski, an author I was unfamiliar with.  The article talked about his writing “routine.”  Much like mine, it involves staying up late, sleeping even later, messing about, and a general lack of structure.  I do not sit and stare at my computer, urging words to come.  I write when  I have something to say and when I don’t, I don’t. I have never successfully kept an editorial calendar like so many of my counterparts.  I have never planned content in advance.  Even after I’ve written something, it can sit on my computer for months (even years) before I feel it is the right time to publish it.  Sometimes things get scheduled and rescheduled over and over as I try to find the right fit with my mood, my thoughts and my life.  Sometimes, posts can be rescheduled out of Continue reading

The Weight of Diamonds

Hearts Don't Break // aboyagirlandthemarinecorps.com

I have skin sensitivities.  This means that I am often allergic to things I never had any reason to know in advance.  At my work I’m allergic to everything.  From the latex gloves to the cleaning supplies.  EVERYTHING.  For the short time I wore my ring to work, I got a rash.  Chemicals got caught under it and my skin would begin to peel off.  Eventually I gave up on wearing it work, which lead to being out of the habit of wearing it at all. I haven’t worn my ring on a regular basis in years. I haven’t bothered to get back into the habit. Sometimes, I pull my wedding rings out of the red velvet pouch they came in and hold them in my hand, feeling their weight.  They feel heavy and foreign.  I can’t imagine putting them back on. I suppose, if I want to be deep Continue reading

Homemade Swear Words

Super Classy // aboyagirlandthemarinecorps.com

I have a variety of phrases I use in real life that I rarely use on my FB page or here on the blog.  Mostly because not only do I swear like a Marine, I also invent my own profanity.  Most people think the things I say are funny, but I’m aware that not everyone who reads my blog or who marries a Marine has the dirty mind, foul mouth and vulgar sense of humor I do. ALL that said, I thought I would share some of my favorite things to say in real life and their definitions.  Keep in mind that these will be some of the more tame things I say, but those with sensitivities to awesome new swear words should stop reading HERE.  And those who are easily offended should stop reading HERE.  And the rest of you foul-brained suckers can commence with the laughing. Sucks Monkey Continue reading

Bibliophilia is a Serious Condition

Bibliophilia is a Serious Condition // aboyagirlandthemarinecorps.com

So, I’m making awesome headway on my 101 in 1001 list.  I’ve done way better than I thought I would.  Sadly, there is really no hope I will finish it.  It’s not that I don’t want to and I consult my list all the time to see if I can knock something off it today… The problem is the reading. I read… A lot…. When my husband was deployed I was averaging 6 books a month.  That went down when he got home and I went back to school, but I still read a lot.  And lately, I’ve been reading books faster than I ever thought I would be able to.  Between book reviews and all, I’m more than going to finish many of my reading goals.  So what’s the problem? The problem is that I forgot about my addiction to books.  I made one of my goals to read Continue reading